Strategy For Couple Counseling Through Church Ministry

Couple Counseling
Couple Counseling

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Strategy For Couple Counseling Through Church Ministry

Not a single marriage unit is devoid of conflict. This is because every couple comprise of two clearly different people, with different backgrounds, experiences, personalities and emotional dispositions. In spite of the compatibility between a husband and wife, these two distinct individuals will always have fairly different viewpoints which will create tension and even conflict in the marriage union (Solomon, 2008). Some of the core sources of conflict in marriage include careers, in-laws, money, sex, children and a host of other marital related issues.

When marital conflicts are left unsettled they could cripple a relationship and even lead to divorce or separation. Many couples do not have acumen for proper communication, hence they are not able to articulate their problems and this could be a major setback when it comes to conflict resolution in a marriage unit (Egan, 2006).

The major difference between couples living in marital bliss and the loveless couple is not found in whether they have conflict or not, it’s found in whether they care for each other and they are able to articulate and resolve their problems. The objective of this paper is to uncover the root of the problems between the partners in this conflicted couple for the purposes of providing a ministry plan for resolving their problems.

Couple Counseling

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Case Study: Strengths And Weaknesses Of The Couple

Strengths Of The Couple:

According to the information educed from the facilitator’s report concerning Walter and Pam, key elements concerning this couple come out prominently. Foremost, the couple has a potential to live and work out their issues together because they have a lot in common, some of the strengths they share create a backdrop for a strong affectionate love relationship.

Notably, every marriage has got its pressures, the question is not how to avoid tensions in a relationship but how to broach them when they come (Clinebell, 2008).The reason why tensions should not be allowed to escalate particularly in this couple is because they could lead to isolation and later abandonment, thus Walter and Pam must be taught how to act when conflict occurs.  

Walter and Pam have demonstrated the ability to manage their finances; in this area they have demonstrated adeptness because they scored above average. The couple is able to plan and budget their money together, this is a plus for the couple because they are able to avoid unnecessary tensions arising from impulse buying and unmet family needs. Planning together enables them to have common financial goals thus they are able to invest wisely and plan for the future (Ron, 2012).

Planning together also eliminates suspicion which could arise when each partner is managing their own funds. The word of God states that God commands blessing where there is unity. It therefore goes without saying that as the couple plan their finances together and execute their plans in unison God is going to bless them and expand their territories in the area of finances.

Couple Counseling

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Remaining in accord in a marriage scenario has been difficult since Adam and Eve, this is because two distinct individuals with their own goals must enmesh and hope to experience oneness as God intended. Unfortunately, human beings are selfish and each craves his own independence. The prophet Isaiah portrayed the human egocentric problem many years ago: “All of us like sheep have gone astray; each of us has turned to his own way” (Isaiah 53:6). Every human being is selfish and intuitively looks out for number one, this directly leads to conflict.

It’s imperative to find out the areas where couples have similarity in order to build a ground for unity and harmonious marriage relationship. For example, Walter and Pam watch their health closely, they are both active and adhere to the rules of good nutrition. This is a positive attribute as it will enable the family to work out on their lifestyles to make sure that they age gracefully, this also minimizes their doctor visits and ensures that they will raise healthy children.

Pam and Walter have a knack for solving problems amongst other parties and even their own children, this strength enables them to create an amiable home environment where their children can feel secure since all their emotional needs are met. Moreover, the couple is able to create time to spend with their children and understand their social and emotional needs. By taking care of their children they provide a safe space for growth to make sure that their children are not trailed by psychological and mental disorders later in life.

When children are in good health, couples are able to forge ahead and achieve their goals in life. This marriage offers Walter and Pam a tremendous opportunity to overcome selfishness, as they give out their time and support for others and their children they are able to move attention from the self thus becoming a better couple. The answer for ending selfishness in a marriage is elaborated in the teachings of Jesus who taught us that instead of wanting to be first, we must be willing to be last; instead of being served we should serve. Jesus would wish for each person to love their spouse in the same measure as they love themselves. God’s plan for couples is to give up, give in and give all in order to honor His name.  

Couple Counseling

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In this couple there is another attribute of the man (Walter) which serves as a bridge for solving many unresolved issues in the marriage. Walter has the ability to forgive easily and let go when hurt by his spouse or others. Human beings will try to love and protect each other no matter how hard they try, at one point they will fail and failure will hurt the other party (Navidian & Bahari, 2014). The definitive relief for hurt is the calming salve of forgiveness (Steele & Plenty, 2015).

This couple therefore has the key for maintaining an open and intimate love relationship since Walter is able to ask and grant forgiveness quickly. As Pam works out her relationship with God, she will also find the grace to forgive others easily. Jesus taught his disciples that said, “For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions” (Matthew 6:14–15). This instruction clearly teaches all the God fearing couples to be forgivers.  

The forgiveness of God entails giving up resentment and the human desire to punish willingly (Kennedy, 2008). It’s an act of sacrifice freely letting the offending party off the hook. As a follower of Christ, an individual should not do this under coercion, screaming or objection rather one should do it with a gentle spirit and love Paul argued the church of Ephesus to be kind to one another tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ had forgiven them (Ephesians 4:32).

As Walter demonstrates his ability to willing forgive and let go of an offence, Pam will be able to comprehend its significance and gradually learn to forgive easily as its an healing balm to every heartache.

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Couple Counseling

The couple is also blessed because they adhere to Christian teaching and therefore have there spiritual beliefs etched in supreme God. This is an area of unity, it mean that the couple can fellowship and even present their problems to God in one accord through prayers. By following into the teachings of the word of God they can grow together and learn how to love, please and respect one another. Paul admonished the Philippians;

Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2:1-4.

Followers of Christ must conquer selfishness so that they do not give the devil a foothold in their marriage. Being a God fearing couple, Walter and Pam will be taught by the Lord how to be selfless considering others better themselves. In this kind of scenario there will be no room for name calling, violence or criticism. Once humility takes root in a marriage, there is room for forgiveness understanding and operating in harmony. The couple in this case study has a major strength in that they are able to handle transitions.

Transition is likely to bring strain and stress the family as a whole. Owing to their resilience, this couple is able to avoid anger disrespect and demands during any transitions in their family (Mack, 2010). In order to enhance more growth in this area, the couple should be taught how to find solutions to their problems without hurting each other’s feelings. The interest of every spouse should be given a consideration so that any arising conflict can be resolved amicably.  

Couple Counseling

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Weaknesses Of The Couple:

The major root of conflict in a marriage is owing to the fact that opposites attract, so people tend to married by people with varied personalities who bring, strength spice and difference in their lives(Milne,2006) ). For example, the extroverted people are attracted by the introverts; the docile people also tend to go for the hyper active types. It’s a strange phenomenon but mainly that is how people get paired in marriages and the difference in their personalities inevitably brings about conflict because of varied reasoning and perceptions.

After being married for awhile due to the varied temperaments, the attractions amongst couples may become repellents. This could lead to mean remarks, unnecessary arguments and misunderstanding when handling finances (Egan, 2006). Often, couples find their disparities so wide that they don’t understand why God put them together. You may find that your backgrounds and your personalities are so different that you wonder how and why God placed you together in the first place.

The key to resolving any tensions in a marriage is foremost understanding and accepting the differences amongst the couple in order to resolve them (Backus, 2005). Just like Adam accepted Eve, God’s gift, each one is to accept their spouse. God in his wisdom and mercy gives every individual a spouse who completes them in a very special way.  In the given case of Walter and Pam, Walter is more reserved and does not know how to handle friends and family; Pam on the other hand is more amiable and opens up their home for the relatives and friends.

Although she means well, this exuberant character does not go well with Walter and he often feels like strangers are enclosing on their space. In order to work out on this weakness, Pam must be considerate and minimize the innumerable visits from others, as she orients Walter to her world she could try and visit her friends rather than her friends visiting her frequently. Slowly, as Walter learns and accepts her perception and attachment to friends he will be able to create a room for her to entertain friends and visitors.

Couple Counseling

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This couple also experiences another problem in the area of sexual satisfaction. This is a problem commonly found amongst young couples especially when the children are young.  Often women place a lot of time, energy and attachment to the children to the point that they neglect their own husbands (Steele& Plenty, 2015). Often, men suffer silently and this could have an emotional toll on the couple. Romantic love cannot blossom unless the emotional needs of every partner are met.

The facilitator should help Pam and Walter to make a commitment to create and maintain romantic love, identify habits that destroy romance in their relationship and overcome those habits and finally identify the most important emotional needs of every partner (Milne, 2006). Once emotional needs of every partner are met, romance blossoms and this creates way for sexual satisfaction. The frequency and quality of sexual relationship that the couple will have will depend on the level of their emotional satisfaction,

Walter should set aside quality time to talk and enjoy the company of his wife. He must often help her with household chores to create time for their intimacy and he should be gentle, caring and understanding. Women crave more affection; they value gifts and like to spend time with their men talking (American Psychological Association, 2012). Walter should create room for all these to create ease and affection in their marriage. On the other hand Pam should respect and support her husband, give him space and make sure that she has reserved time for just the two of them.

Couple Counseling

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Romance in a love relationship must b cultivated and nurtured to make sure that it does not die away. Each partner in the relationship must identify and communicate their emotional needs, when making love women like to be touched and adored. Men also like watching the physique of their women during love making; it’s therefore the duty of Pam to stay attractive and sexy for her husband. Sexual satisfaction is not automatic it comes as a result of hard work, the couple must plan and deliberately take the necessary measures to make sure that they give each other maximum satisfaction. Consulting, a marriage counselor could help the couple voice out their needs and how they would like those needs to be met.

In the area of leisure activities, Walter is a bit closed up. Often, they don’t to find a common ground on what is best for their leisure activities. Pam is a very extroverted individual who values fun and pleasure so she does not have a problem with the family leisure activities. Often, because Walter is not very talkative Pam does not understand some of his attributes, she does not like how he spent his leisure and some of the habits that he shows.

This area brings in friction because the couple has not agreed on what is suitable for the family in general and how each individual can spent his/her leisure time. In order to resolve the conflict in this area, each partner is supposed to set aside his/anger or bitterness and keep the relationship current. The couple must resolve to remain in solid fellowship with each other and the children no matter their differences this will ensure that they are not isolated because of their differences. 

           Lack of proper communication has been a great impediment to this couple; this challenge hinders the couple from resolving their day to day conflicts. The quality of the family communication is low and hinders ease in flow of information which could escalate into misunderstanding.  This couple can be terrific even in the face of the various conflicts and stresses, the goal of goal of re-establishing and sustaining love in marriage is important than conflict resolution. When a couple is bonded through love and understanding conflict resolution becomes a lot easy, when there is love proper procedures for resolving conflict are instituted minimizing chances of misunderstanding. 

Couple Counseling

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Notably, Pam has weaknesses when it comes to managing her personal stress, when she encounters a stressful situation she doesn’t have the ability to internalize her stress she allows it to trickle to others even affecting the children. The best way to handle personal stress is foremost, identifying the cause of stress and then working out to eliminate all the factors leading to stress.

Moreover, it’s very prudish to talk to someone about the stressful situation as this helps a person to organize her thoughts. Therefore, Pam should come up with a strategy on the proper procedure to follow any time she is going through a stressful situation to avoid impacting the family members negatively

Strategy For Counseling And Supporting The Couple Through Church Ministry.

In order to counsel the couple in this case study effectively the ministry will devise an effective plan of action to help meet the objective of stabilizing this couple together and ensure that they attain social and emotional stability. This couple comprise of two individuals, each has got his own experiences, background and personality. Owing to some unacceptable habits and interesting idiosyncrasies they may not fit together easily. Each partner has got his expectations to be met plus trials and tribulations in life which the couple must overcome; all these factors inevitably breed a ground for conflict.

Step (i) The Couple Must Know And Accept Their Differences

Pam and Walter were brought up in different environments and they were taught varied habits, values and traditions. Pam is an extrovert while Walter is an introvert, while Pam likes to party with friends and relatives Walter would rather have his space. All these are differences between the couple that must be understood and accepted. The couple must work out to find an area of compromise to avoid straining each other.  

From the personality profile its apparent that Walter scores below average on most of the traits, for instance in regard to social change and emotional stability he scores below average. Pam on the other hand records higher scores above average (Risse, 2012). These results imply that both parties are different with varied personalities, its imperative for the two partners to know their differences in order to minimize areas of friction in their relationship (Collins, 2007). They must be encouraged to have a free communication through which they will be able to share their emotions and perceptions and reduce unnecessary conflict.

Couple Counseling

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Step (ii) Defeating Selfishness

All the differences between this couple are magnified because they feed the selfish and sinful nature of human beings. As good Christians the couple should be taught how to put the interest of the others first. The couple must be taught how to give up their own will for the will of the other. By giving up their will to Christ and continuously seeking to please the Lord, the couple will be able to resolve their conflicts and live amicably.

Romans 12:18 states “If it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” According to this scripture, in order to live peacefully, the couple must pursue peace, this means taking the initiative to resolve a difficult conflict instead of waiting for the other offending party to take the first step.

Step (iii) Loving Confrontation

  • The couple will be taught the art of confronting each other with grace and tactfulness a skill which requires patience, wisdom and a lot of humility. Here are some of the tips on how this confrontation can be done.
  • The words used during the confrontation should not hurt they should bring healing and wholeness to the relationship to avoid isolating the confronted partner.
  • The attitude should be right, the message conveyed should be clear, I love you and respects you and I want you to respect me too.
  • This confrontation should be done at the right time in the right place to avoid disrespect and misundersnidng.
  • When communicating its imperative to listen to each other and ask questions for any clarifications.
  • During confrontation just voice one issue at a time, this is not time for raising many complains its time to express an area of concern.
  • Focus on the problem, but not the person, avoid name calling and belittling each other.

Step (iv) Forgiving Each Other

Often, couples will fail and this will lead to conflict, when one partner wrongs the other he should be brave enough to ask for forgiveness quickly. The couple should not let their differences escalate into a misundersnding. As sooner as a couple apologizes, the strains and tensions are minimized or finished.

Couple Counseling

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Step (v) Returning a Blessing for an Insult

1Peter 3:8-9 says, “To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.” Many couples have become experts in pointing out what is not right always. Some castigate their partners on their looks, their friends, their cooking style and many more. This way they don’t have a better way to relate to each other.

Returning a blessing for an insult means stepping aside and refusing to retaliate even when your partner wrongs you. This is possible through God’s help and the humility taught by the Holy Spirit. This also means doing well like speaking kind and gentle words; keep your tongue from evil and avoiding deceitful words. A pat on the shoulder and a gentle hug and all these little deeds of affection come along way to minimize tension and bring peace for the married couple. God’s purpose in all the marriage conflicts is to test the faith of His children. Once the faith is tested it produces endurance and glory to God.  


American Psychological Association. (2012). Publication Manual of the American Psychological  Association. 6th ed. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

Backus, W. (2005). Telling the Truth to Troubled People. Minneapolis, MN: Bethany House.Baker, S.(2011) School Counselor’s Handbook: a Guide for Professional Growth and Development. Boston, MA: Allyn and Bacon.

Benner, D, (2007).  Christian Counseling and Psychotherapy. Baker Book House.

Clinebell, H. (2008) Basic Types of Pastoral Care & Counseling: Resources for the Ministry of Healing and Growth. Nashville: Abingdon Press.

Collins, G(2007). Christian Counseling: a Comprehensive Guide. Waco, TX: Word Books.

Egan, G. (2006)  The Skilled Helper: a Systematic Approach to Effective Helping. 3rd ed. Pacific Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole Publishing.

Ivey A.E., (2003).Intentional Interviewing and Counseling. Fifth Edition. Thompson, Brook.

Kennedy, E. (2008) On Becoming a Counselor: a Basic Guide for Non-professional Counselors. New York: Seabury Press.

Mack, W.(2010) A.  A Homework Manual for Biblical Living. Phillipsburg, NJ: Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing.

Milne B. (2006) Know the Truth. Second Edition. Inter-Varsity Press.

Navidian, A., & Bahari, F. (2014). The impact of mixed, hope and forgiveness-focused marital     counselling on interpersonal cognitive distortions of couples filing for divorce. Journal of Psychiatric & Mental Health Nursing,21(7), 658-666. doi:10.1111/jpm.12058

Risse, J. (2012). Facilitator report. Life Innovations. Inc. Retrieved from:

Ron, D. (2012). Dating and the Single Parent: are you ready to Date? Talking with your Kids, Avoiding a Big Mistake, Finding Lasting Love. Bloomington, MN: Bethany House Publishers.

Ronald, E. (1991). Strengthening Marital Intimacy. Kearney, NE: Baker Book House Company.

Steele, G. A., & Plenty, D. (2015). Supervisor–Subordinate Communication Competence and  Job and Communication Satisfaction. Journal of Business Communication52(3), 294

The King James Bible

Ron, Deal L. (2012). Dating and the Single Parent: are you ready to Date? Talking with your Kids, Avoiding a Big Mistake, Finding Lasting Love. Bloomington, MN: Bethany House Publishers.

Ronald, H. E., (1991). Strengthening Marital Intimacy. Kearney, NE: Baker Book House Company.

Solomon, C. (2008) Handbook to Happiness: a Guide to Victorious Living  and Effective Counseling. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.

Couple Counseling

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Marriage: Observation and modelling

Marriage: Observation and modelling
Marriage: Observation and modelling

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Observation and modelling


This paper describes the observations and models of marriage which were part of the assignment. In total, there are 3 models:Model 1: Women are more eager for love; Model 2: Men are the support of the families, so they spend more time on studying and working than searching for love; and Model 3: Women are fond of children, so they want to have children after marriage. Three experiments were carried out. The findings of the experiments effectively support the three models.

Observation and models


Model 1: Women are more eager for love. Generally speaking, women appear to be more eager for love as depicted in many films, novels and stories. They can suddenly fall in love with someone after the first meet.

Model 2: Men are expected to support their families, so they spend more time on studying and working than searching for love. Men regard career or job as the most crucial thing after graduation. They need to make money and support their family, so they have to work hard before getting married.

Model 3: Women really like children, so they want to have their children after marriage. They want to become a mother. Usually, women are playing the role of taking care of children in most families since they are compassionate.

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Experiment 1: After graduation, women prefer to get married to men who are older.

Dependent variable: Older men. For a marriage to take place, the man must be older than the woman.

Independent variable: Marriage. Marriage has to take place after graduation.


1. Women are sensitive to the age of men since they are considered to age more than men. A woman wants to look younger than the man she marries hence will look for a man that is older to get married to.

2. Since women want to get married after graduation more than their male counterparts, they have to seek older men, or they will wait for long before getting married.

Implications 3: Men have less to worry about in the sense of marriage since giving birth and taking care of children is mostly left to women. Men are just supposed to provide financially and are therefore not eager to get married before they get stable income.

4. Men have more responsibility to take care of and mostly prefer younger women. Since they have to marry women that have already graduated, they need first to concentrate on their job as they wait for the younger women to graduate.

The experiment supports model two.

Experiment 2: Marriage does not require a person to be financially stable.

Dependent variable: Marriage

Independent variable: Financial stability

To make the variables work, men and women must be eager for marriage after graduation.

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1. Women will fall in love with a man even if he does not have money since they just want to be loved hence they can get married without being financially stable.

 2. There are a lot of responsibilities that arise after marriage and men are the ones looked upon to meet these responsibilities. Though there is love, a man has to consider having finances right before marriage.

3. Children are part of the family and to bring out children requires finances. It is, therefore, proper that financial stability is established first before getting married.

The experiment supports model one.    

Experiment 3: Men and Women get married to get children

Dependent variable: Children

Independent variable: Marriage


1. Love and financial stability do not have to exist for children to be born. A man and a woman can just get married and have children.

2. There are expenses that must be incurred for the pregnancy and the whole process of giving birth.

The experiment supports model three.

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Findings and results

Model 1: Women are more eager for love.

The results that would be needed to support this model are that women generally look for love in men – a woman just wants to be loved by her man – and secondly, a woman can easily fall in love with any man even if they have only met once. The other needed result is that a woman would fall in love with a man even if that man is not really financially stable primarily because the woman only wants to be loved by the man and she is not interested in his money.

In general, women seek love in a relationship. It is worth mentioning that love is essentially the confirmation which a woman requires to have in order to have some guarantee that the man is going to stick around and assist her to bring up the children (Allen, 2015). A woman wants to be shown love by her man for instance by the man saying that he loves her. Women need and want to hear the phrase I love you from her husband often.

However, words alone are not adequate and women want men to also find other ways of expressing their love, for instance by sending them flowers and telling them how pretty they look (Solomon, 2012). Moreover, women express their love in terms of surrender; that is trust. A wife empowers her husband by believing in her husband and accepting his leadership. A woman exchanges power for love. She wants her husband’s love to posses her (Makow, 2015).

The results that would contract or fail to support this model are that women do not seek, need or want love, and that a woman can get into marriage where there is no love; that is, where she and her husband do not love each other. The data supported the model.

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Model 2: Men are expected to support their families financially, so they spend more time on studying and working than searching for love.

The results that would be needed to support this model are that in men, the most important thing after graduating from college or university is to get a good job and become financially stable and even purchase a house before considering having a wife and children. The other result is that men want to achieve financial stability first before getting married.

Another important result is that men understand that marriage has a lot of responsibilities and costs such as costs associated with paying hospital bills when the wife gives birth, bringing up children, and providing the general needs of the family such as food, shelter and clothing. Therefore, a man needs to be financially stable in order to take care of these financial needs as they arise during marriage and that is why men tend to wait for financial stability before getting married. 

On the whole, men tend to wait for a longer period of time than women before getting married. On average, men wait until they reach 27 years old before marrying whereas women wait on average until they reach 25 years (Dilworth, 2014). Men who get married later tend to be not just more emotionally mature, but also more economically stable.

Men consider marriage as the last step in a long process of growing up and wish to wait until they get older before having children when they are financially stable, and perhaps have a house before marrying. Dye (2014) stated that there a number of reasons why men delay getting married: nowadays, men can easily get sex without getting married; men wish to avoid divorce along with its fiscal risks.

Other reasons are that men face few social pressures to get married; want to possess a house prior to getting a wife; by cohabiting instead of marrying, they are able to enjoy the benefits of a wife; wait for the perfect soul mate; and would like to until they are older before having children (Pease & Pease, 2011).    

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The results that would contradict or fail to support this Model 2 are that men want to get married as soon as they leave college and have children, and that men do not consider being financially stable essential prior to getting married. The data obtained actually supported this model.

Model 3: Women are fond of children, so they want to have children after marriage.

The results that would need to be found to support the model are that neither financial stability nor love is necessary for a couple to have a child. Even if a man and woman do not love each other and even if they are not financially stable, they can still get married and have a child or children. Most women want to get married in order to have children: the point of marriage is basically to have a child or children.

In essence, marriage establishes an environment properly suited to having children (Grewal & Urschel, 2014). In addition, the society expects a married woman to have a child or children. Even so, some couples choose to get married for companionship and love, or just to spend life together.

The results that would contradict or fail to support this model are that for a man and a woman to get married and have children, first they must be financially stable. The other result is that before having a child, the couple must be in love with each other. The obtained data from the experiment supported this model.


Allen, T. (2015). What’s the point of being married if you don’t want children? Boston, MA: SAGE publishers

Dilworth, K. (2014). First comes financial stability, then comes marriage, say young adults. Retrieved from

Dye, L. (2014). Why are more men waiting to marry? ABC News. Retrieved from 

Grewal, R. P., & Urschel, J. D. (2014). Why Women Want Children: A Study During Phases of Parenthood. Journal Of Social Psychology, 134(4), 453-455.

Makow, H. (2011). Possession is part of marriage. Retrieved from

March, J. G., & Lave, C. A. (1993). An introduction to models in the social sciences. Crescent City, CA: University Press of America.

Pease, B., & Pease, A. (2011). Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love : Unravelling the Simple Truth. New York, NY: Harmony.

Solomon, E. (2012). Why men want sex and women want love. New York City, NY: Prentice Hall.

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Aunt Hetty on Matrimony

Aunt Hetty on Matrimony
Aunt Hetty on Matrimony

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An Explication paper on Aunt Hetty on Matrimony

This is an extremely funny piece written by Fanny Fern which has some inherent truth in it. For instance, men are often bored with their wives making them to neglect them. However, presently both women and men can neglect one another or each other on equal measures, but no matter what, women and men will always need each other. In the conclusion of this funny piece, Aunt Hetty makes a plea to girls, to totally shun marriage because of the fact that after their death, their husbands will remarry. However, she also strives to stop herself since irrespective of her warning; at some point in their life, the girls will try marriage (Fanny 49).   

Aunt Hetty is trying her best to offer advice to girls; this is because issues to do with marriage and love seem to disgust her and wants girls to be cautious on them.  According to Aunty Hetty, “love is a farce; matrimony a humbug; husbands are domestic Napoleons, Alexanders, and Neroes …” (Fanny 47). This indicates her disbelief in these things and is urging young girls to be careful before indulging in them. However, her motive to offer this advice is her unpleasant experience, but she concurs with the fact that at some point many women will always want to try marriage (Fanny 47).    

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Aunty Hetty reiterates that after a man wins a woman’s heart; he moves on to conquer other women hearts (Fanny 48). In addition, Aunty Hetty also believes men rarely try to build the home because they envisage that work to be done by women. Therefore, she implies that matrimony should be left alone because it is the hardest thing.

“Remain aloof to any gentleman who gives his attention; until one of us can verify his circumstances” (Fanny 16). Aunty Hetty also advise women to seek knowing men better prior to engaging with them, because they are crafty and will seek to conquer other women’s hearts after they win theirs (Fanny 48).               


Fanny, F. (1985). Aunt Hetty on Matrimony. West Trenton, NJ: Hermitage Press.

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Divorce among Christians Research Paper

Divorce among Christians
Divorce among Christians

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Divorce among Christians

Undoubtedly, religion is, and continues to be, a fundamental element in most marriages in different parts of the world. As an institution, marriage is crucial to human existence and further serves as a crucial avenue for people to partake in God’s creative activities through creation. God’s command, ‘Be fruitful and multiply’ (Genesis 1: 28), can only be fulfilled in the context of marriage.

As a result, marriage is considered a precursor to the formation of a family, and given this, all cultures recognize its importance despite relativism. Among Christians, marriage is expected to be a life contract, hence the phrase, ‘till death do us part.’ This implies that divorce or separation is no option regardless of the circumstances.

However, the divorce and separation rates reported in today’s society have become problematic to Christians as marriages are crashing over irreconcilable differences. The socio-ethical impact of divorce is apparent, and solutions are elusive, regardless of the various measures applied by the Church, marriage counselors, and other concerned individuals or groups to minimize its recurrence.
As an African country, Ghana thrives with a rich cultural and religious heritage that informs and governs its people’s lives and activities. Culture and religion are significantly intertwined in a system referred to as religio-culture, which, when translated to marriage, highlights numerous challenges that include changes of family, ethnic group (clan, village, or tribe), and residence establishment in a new house by the newly wedded couple.

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[What page is this from? I doubt if Brako said religio-culture breeds challenges for marriage] Nonetheless, different researchers concur that a correlation between restrictions, dreams, agencies, and realities serve as the pillars to family dynamics in transnational African migration to the United States or European countries.

Migration to an international destination produces profound social changes in receiving societies. As pointed out by sociodemographic studies, international migration can significantly increase divorce due to various reasons. Among the reasons identified include the fact that moving entails a stressful and life-changing event that leads to a higher divorce likelihood, especially when international borders are crossed.

Divorce among Christians

Additionally, migration policies applied in different nations have become more stringent, making it challenging for families to migrate. As a result, more couples and families end up separated geographically and challenged with the need to arrange family life transitions, which causes marital stress and eventually divorce [Source?] Therefore, this chapter’s essence entails exploring migration issues impacting Ghanaian Christian couples’ marriages in North America.

Divorce among Christians

It will determine the factors or stressors leading to distress and instability in marriages, including intimate conflict between couples, separation, or divorce among Ghanaian Christian couples who immigrate to America. Moreover, the project will analyze the role played by migration, whether the interpretation of marriage and divorce in biblical scriptures factors in the experiences of African’s traditional values and cultural norms.

These will be coupled with the determination of the steps the Church has taken to revert such occurrences and optimally address the issue. [That is not the purpose of this chapter. This chapter is to use Scripture to provide rationale for the project. This whole page is not needed]

Divorce among Christians

The Biblical Rationale
The increase in globalization and migration among Africans to other countries has contributed to socio-cultural dynamics affecting their marriages, leading to separation and divorce. Specifically, marriages have become unstable while divorce rates have skyrocketed [Really, where did you get this from, source?] among American populations in industrialized areas, particularly for unemployed women. As pointed out by König & and Regt, [Use their full names at first appearance] African couples in the diaspora are constantly grappled with numerous challenges in their marriage due to intimate partner violence as one of the significant factors driving high divorce rates. As a holy institution, the foundation of marriage traces back to the Biblical Eden, followed by several other analogies implying God’s decision and take on the union between man and woman. For instance, in Ephesians 5: 22-23, God likens marriage to the Church, while in Luke 14: 7-14, the parable of the wedding feast describes an eschatological rendition. Despite the significance of married highlighted, Arugu points out that each society faces distinct situations characterized by falling marriages, and couples can no longer tolerate each other, leading to divorce.
Common Views for the Different Interpretations [Wrong sub sectioning]
Although different opinions and ideologies exist on interpreting B biblical [Bible is B, biblical is small b] teachings on marriage and divorce, Christians generally agree on various aspects. On the one hand, Christians agree that the intended design for marriage, as put forth by God, comprised a covenant union [But in your conclusion and elsewhere, you said is a contract, stick to marriage as a covenant and why that impacts quality and stability, where in Scripture that it say a covenant, not just what “Christians” say] between a man and a woman for the rest of their lives. Specifically, Genesis 2: 24 exemplifies the one-flesh union that consists of one man and one woman who come together to establish a lifelong covenant. [This is where technical commentaries are needed. The source you mentioned does not deal with theological of covenant so why is it here? Please don’t make things up, not good] This union portrays a bond that should not be separated and that follows a design meant to promote the most fulfilling and satisfying life for humans. Thus, it is considered an elaborate depiction of God’s promise and loyalty to his people and the Church through Jesus. [How is this related to the dissertation or justify the need for the project?]
On the other hand, even though divorce is legal, [On other pages you mentioned that irrespective of the issues there is no divorce, which is which?] biblical teachings urge people to avoid it at all costs. Divorce among Christians is considered failure to adhere to God’s command and design for marriage and sin that has rendered humans unable to live as per the standard stipulated in scriptures such as Genesis 1 and 2. Specifically, most Christians are aware of the adverse eventualities associated with divorce and can identify its significance due to the Church’s cases. [How is this related to the dissertation or justify the need for the project?]

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Lexical Analysis [This whole section is completely unnecessary because it does not tie to any preposition or why this project is needed. Besides it is poorly written, and I already have already written more on this that I could have easily copied but this is a dissertation and biblical rationale chapter]
In Matthew 19:1-12, Jesus engaged in a dialogue with the Pharisees after he entered Judea, a Gentile region.6 Akin to his travel in other regions, Jesus’ opponents approached him with a question aimed at trapping him into uttering words that would anger Herod or contradict Moses’ teachings. In verse three, the Pharisees posed a question to Jesus, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?’7 Entrenched in cultural, legal, and biblical grounds, Jesus understood their intentions and opted to reframe it based on marriage’s biblical foundation. [Poor writing] In verse four, he responded, ‘Haven’t you read…,’ implying that his listeners would better understand what he was about to say. [Wrong syntax analysis] Paradoxically, Jesus referenced the Torah from which the Pharisees drew their understanding of divorce law. [Not true Jesus referred to Genesis 1:26-27 and 2:24-25 and there is nothing about divorce in those texts. I doubt the theological skills being applied here, wow!] In his initial response, he urged [Really, Jesus urged them to ask a question?] the Pharisees to pose a second question, which he knew would trap him into saying something blasphemous.[What does this mean?] In verse 7, the Pharisees asked Jesus, ‘Why then did Moses command us to give divorce papers and send her away?’ in this question, and the Pharisees sought to provoke Jesus into the claim that Moses’ teachings were wrong. However, Jesus responded that the real reason Moses condoned divorce entailed ‘the hardness of their hearts’ mentioned in verse 8. Genesis 1: 9, Jesus taught about divorce, alongside the exception clause, which perplexed his disciples more than the Pharisees. In disgust, the disciples asked Jesus, ‘If the relationship of a man with his wife is as such, it’s better not to marry.’
Similarly, Paul’s teaching in 1 Corinthians 7 portrays marriage from the perspective of the cross. More precisely, Paul’s interactions with the Corinthians fostered the teaching that marriage can distract spouses from the cross, and for single people, there are situations not to pursue it. Paul’s sentiment, ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman,’ does not allude to his opposition to sex. God created the life-long union between man and woman, implying that he endorses sexual relations. Besides, Paul held high regard for marriage and sex. However, in a letter to the Corinthians, Paul sought to teach them to abide by their wives and the holy institution of marriage. Specifically, in the phrase, διὰ δὲ τὰς πορνείας ἕκαστος τὴν ἑαυτοῦ γυναῖκα ἐχέτω καὶ ἑκάστη τὸν ἴδιον ἄνδρα ἐχέτω, [What is this doing here? When I ask for skills in Biblical Greek as a requirement, it does not mean peppering the paper with a Greek sentences to prove a point. Where are the commentaries saying and what are the specifics of the tect impacting the subject of the research. For example 1 Cor 7:15 talks about ἄπιστος or unbeliever who might dissert and in “such cases” ἐν τοῖς τοιούτοιςwhat are the interpretation of such in relation to divorce, should in such cases include abuse as theologians like Wayne Grudem are advancing] can be translated to mean that ‘due to fornication after fornication, each on (of you husbands) should continue (in the sexual relationship) with (your) one wife, and each one (of you wives) should continue (in the sexual relationship) with your husband.’10 In this statement, Paul used the plural, πορνείας, to highlight the infamous sexual sins in Corinth. Most fundamentally, Paul recognized that fornication was running rampant in Corinth, but merely uttering words would not curb the sin.
In 1 Corinthians 7:2, Paul stated that an individual should have his spouse sexually and each wife should have her husband. Based on these words, Paul attempted to help the Corinthians develop a full appreciation for the physical marriage-bond put in place by their creator. Conversely, in verses 10 and 11, Paul addressed Christian couples who may have been considering divorce or separation. In Corinth, the divorce context was not considered Rabbinic Judaism since it was in Jesus’ day. Instead, across the Greek and Roman cities, the divorce law was interpreted to be that if an individual’s partner decided to divorce their spouse, they could do so by leaving. Similarly, divorce was interpreted as, if the individual owned the house, he or she should insist that the partner leaves. During this time, Paul’s teachings indicated that divorce ought to have been handled through separation based on no-fault or contest. However, no regulations or provisions existed protecting women as the requirement Judaism. If the couple proceeded to divorce in court, it was meant to determine how the property would be distributed instead of determining if they should break off their marriage. Akin to today’s society, when the couple divorced, society the partners as free individuals who would remmary.12
Instructions for Divorce among Christians
Following verses 10 and 11, Paul attempted to teach believers on whether they should divorce. For instance, he stated that God prohibited divorce or separation after marriage, or in the event of separation, another marriage. Similar sentiments are echoed in Malachi 2: 14-16, which states that although God hated divorce and initially created marriage for men and women, a provision or exception exists in Pentateuch’s divorce, especially across issues that involve uncleanness, which has been translated to imply adultery. In Jesus’ era, this provision has been interpreted by Rabbi Hillel’s followers as condoning divorce for any reason that did not please the husband. When confronted by the Pharisees about this issue, Jesus did not condone the widespread interpretation that accommodated divorce for any reason and further limited it to sexual immorality, porneia, meaning adultery in Matthew 5: 32; 19: 6-9.
In 1 Corinthians 7: 10-11, Paul interpreted Jesus’ words to the Christian believers who were married. For instance, Paul stated that ‘10To the married, I give this command (not I, but the Lord: A wife must not separate (chōrizō) from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife).’ Under the NIV version, divorce is translated to aphiēmi, which implies releasing or dismissing someone from a particular place or situation. In the Greco-Roman context, Paul is portrayed to be referring to couples in which both partners are Christians, similar to the way Jesus addressed couples within the Jewish context.
Subsequently, Paul affirmed that the marriage binds the couple until death, echoed in Matthew 19: 4-6. Precisely, Paul stated that ‘Haven’t you read… that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female,’ and ‘For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So, they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate.’ [The guide says don’t insert full passages into the text] In today’s society, divorce is associated with intense pain, distress, and psychological issues, even among Christians left to ponder over several issues, [Poor sentence structure] including whether they can remarry. [You mean Gravningen et al said this, which page?] For instance, when a spouse migrates to an international destination such as the United States, why is it challenging to maintain the marriage, or why does the couple drift away from the bond that initially brought them together. As Arugu puts it, the major contributor to the increase in rates of divorce in the twentieth century entails the widespread acceptance in society. More precisely, the increase in society’s tolerance of divorce has emanated from the relaxation of negative attitudes in Church. Besides, divorce is no longer perceived as sin by most religious denominations, and most nations, including Ghana, have adopted relatively moderate divorce laws.
Additional attributions to the increase in divorce rates in today’s society include less satisfaction among couples with their marriages than biblical times or a few decades ago. Similarly, the variation in cultural norms, social constructs, and realities between the two contexts, Ghana and North America, trigger different relationship experiences and determine the standard predictors of marriage outcomes. On the one hand, Ghana’s cultural and religious systems help its people in formulating internalized social constructs and norms that serve as the primary sources behavior patterns in a relationship. At the same time, marriage ceases to be a fundamental element in the society and transitions into a social construct. Although several studies exist on marriage and religion, they have been limited to the basic aspects of religiosity, including church attendance and affiliations. However, some researchers have extended their studies to proximal aspects of religion, fostering a better understanding of how married couples connect their religious faith to family life. This objective’s attainment has included aspects such as specific belief systems, the processes applied in meaning-making, and the impacts of religion on such meaning-making, alongside religious behaviors that extend beyond church attendance.
Despite the approaches used in determining religion’s role in curbing divorce rates, especially among couples who migrated to international destinations, [Migration is not just about people who migrated already married, check the project worksheet and the proposal outline to understand the research] the biblical interpretation of marriage, remarriage, and divorce follows the commands postulated across various scriptures. For instance, in 1 Corinthians 7: 10-11, Paul passed on commands from Jesus to shape marriages and deter divorce rates. Among these commands include that Christians should not get divorced or separated from their spouses. However, if divorce or separation are inevitable, the believers should remain divorced, single, or work towards reconciling their marriage. [Orr and Walter, never said anything like this, what page?]
Stressors in Marital Distress or Instability among Ghanaian Immigrant couples in America
Despite the underlying pressure to abide by specific cultural norms and social constructions in African countries, Christian couples experience various stress factors that significantly contribute to the prevalence of divorce rates. These stressors’ experience is primarily experienced by Christian couples who immigrate to different parts of the world, including the United States, as they are constantly expected to maintain their African traditions and further assimilate into the host nation’s cultures. For women, immigrating to North America from Ghana necessitates acquiring a new language and culture, alongside social status and income levels. In the Ghanaian context, women may have been predisposed and limited to relying on the husband as the sole income earner. Still, upon immigration, they face stressors that include finding employment, discrimination, culture shock, and linguistic changes. These stress factors are coupled with cultural barriers to necessary health and social services, lack of professional accreditation, and the need to secure affordable and safe housing.

Divorce among Christians

Conversely, for some women who migrate with their husbands, the process may translate to economic independence, social mobility, and relative autonomy. These elements occur when immigration is accompanied by a significant increase in participation in the labor market. The exposure to increased responsibilities in the economy and throughout society tends to alter the power distribution processes within the family, culminating in increased participation and authority over household decision-making and control over resources. At the same time, increased participation in the labor force intensifies the burden carried by Ghanaian women until they identify different ways of handling the conventional roles and responsibilities, including those of childcare and housework. These occurrences bring about a dramatic change in the power relationship within the marriage. Despite situations in which immigrating may improve the women’s social status, it does not change their roles and position within the family. [THIS WHOLE SECTION IS NOT NEEDED, I NEED BIBLICAL RATIONALE]

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Relevance of the Stressors to the Exception Clause in Matthew 19:9 and 5:32
Following the stress factors faced by women in Christian marriages and who migrate with their husbands from Ghana to the United States, several allusions can be deduced in terms of their relevance to interpreting the exemption clause passed by Jesus. Specifically, in Matthew 5:23; 19:9, Jesus provided an exception that warranted divorce and remarriage if the reason for separation was adultery or sexual immorality. Among Christians, this exception indicates that unless the husband or wife commits adultery, the couple should abide by Paul’s command and in reference to Jesus’ teachings. It further indicates a consensus among Christians applied since its introduction by Erasmus in the sixteenth century. Nonetheless, the interpretation of this exception has, over time, changed to favor specific circumstances in which a couple seeks to separate.
As pointed out by Ferrante, the variations and challenges in interpreting the exception clause are based on the phrase ‘porneia.’ Different people hold distinct views regarding the phrase’s interpretation, with the least adoption option referring to an incestuous relationship. Nevertheless, the most likely held view is in reference to biblical chapters, such as Acts 15:20 and 29, which has interpreted the phrase porneia as forbidden marriages, as per Lev 18:6-18. Similarly, another set of interpretations of the phrase entails a forbidden or prohibited relationship between a Jew and a gentile through mixed marriage. These two interpretations are characterized by the Jewish context of Matthew’s Gospel, which may not be considered legitimate marriages that should be dissolved instead of involving the divorce process. The interpretation that best fits today’s Christian world and marriages entail the view of porneia as unchastity of betrothed men and women. Under this view, the interpretation of the phrase as sexual immorality without reference to marital unfaithfulness is based on its use in describing a situation in which the betrothed and not married yet.
As described herein, the various stressors facing Ghanaian women in Christian marriages and who have migrated to North America predisposes them to conditions that disregard and change gender roles and marital quality. Although the women or men in these marriages do not necessarily commit adultery, they engage in activities that lead to sexual immorality without reference to marital unfaithfulness. These circumstances further lead to divorce. The couple is forced to compromise by accepting the changes in gender roles and marital quality instead of adhering to the cultural norms, social constructions, and Christian values that initially bound them together. In Matthew 1:19, when Mary and Joseph were betrothed, she conceived Jesus. The verse further points out that ‘her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.’ In this case, Mary and Joseph are considered betrothed, mnesteuo, but Joseph is still considered her husband, aner.
The lexical correlation between these interpretations and those in today’s society exemplifies the significance of betrothal in Jesus’ era compared to engagement in the contemporary world. In the latter era, being betrothed meant the same as marriage as the couple had their intentions to get married or further made the necessary arrangements. The only difference between betrothal and marriage entailed abstinence from sexual intercourse until the coupled is united. Marcus. For instance, when Joseph decided to divorce apolysai, Mary quietly portrayed the end of a betrothal based on perceived porneia, committing adultery. The incident coincides with divorce in an entire marriage, which was considered a just act as it was at par with Jewish customs and the standards put in place by Jesus. Christian couples who have migrated to North America get divorced for reasons that do not include porneia, sexual immorality. Although the circumstances slightly differ, they have significantly contributed to the increase in divorce rates today. Besides, the Church does not reinforce marriage fundamentals before and after a couple enters the holy institution. [Apart from the quality of writing, what has all this got to do with the research at hand?]
Based on these factors, divorces among Ghanaian couples who have migrated to North America follow the interpretation in Joseph’s and Mary’s case. The circumstances leading to separation fall under the category of adultery. For instance, stressors such as lack of marital satisfaction, intimate partner violence, and different forms of distress play a fundamental role in the destabilization of marriage, leading to divorce. Before migrating, the couple understood and abided by the traditional and cultural norms that defined their family roles. Extended family members had a significant influence on the activities carried out in the family, while social constructs defined gender roles and participation in societal events. However, over time, these trends have drastically changed as people have become increasingly individualistic and further taken the laws into their hands. As a result, family values have significantly eroded, resulting in an increase in divorce in contemporary society.
Traditionally, both husbands and wives understood marriage as an indissoluble, sacred, and stable institution based on biblical teachings related to ‘what God puts together, no one should separate or put asunder,’ Matthew 19:6. [This is completely unnecessary statement, what does it proof?] Akin to the biblical allusions,[allusions overused term] marriage in Ghana and other African countries meant that no couples had the privilege [divorce is not a privilege] of discontinuing or dissolving the Christian relationship. For instance, after the marital exchange of vows, couples promised each other to remain in the marriage until death separated them. Upon migration in today’s society, numerous things have changed, and marriage is no longer a stable and steady institution. [This is below master’s level writing let alone PhD, please is anyone checking?] When in a new country with different cultures, social constructs, values, and rules, privileges, and opportunities, among others, a Christian couple is often faced with various issues that might dissolve their relationship. The cross-culturalization between these distinct nations influences the attitudes of the couple concerning marriage and divorce. For instance, the woman may want freedom from the traditional roles of childcare and looking after the family. At the same time, the man may desire to explore different cultures or pursue a different path.

Divorce among Christians

After conducting an in-depth exegetical analysis of the applicable scriptures, this project has further analyzed existing literature to acquire the relevant data related to the effects of migration on Ghanaian Christian couples’ marital quality and stability in North America. By harnessing Bbiblical teachings and principles applied in different contexts, the study has generated immense insights that may strengthen marriage and minimize divorce rates. Besides, the congruency between the biblical allusions and the scientific studies has played a fundamental role in questions such as how migrations affect the quality and stability of sub-Saharan African Christian couples in North America. Although the biblical allusions do not provide facts about the appropriate steps that should be taken [About what?], they provide relevance to Jesus’ teachings, among other scriptures that conform to God’s intention for humans. [Are you separating the Bible from Jesus?] More precisely, the biblical teachings indicated that marriage is an institution crucial to human existence and further serves as a crucial avenue for people to partake in God’s creative activities through creation. As per God’s command, for humans to be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth, marriage serves as the fulfillment and a precursor to a family’s formation. Given this, all cultures recognize its importance despite relativism.
Among Christians, marriage is expected to be a life contract bidding the parties involved commitment till death separates them.[Bad grammar] This implies that divorce or separation is not an acceptable option regardless of the circumstances.[Is that true, but you mentioned Jesus provided an exception?] However, the divorce and separation rates reported in today’s society have become a concern, even for Christians, as marriages are crashing over irreconcilable differences.[Bad writing] The social and ethical effects of divorce have thus become apparent. At the same time, solutions are undeniably elusive, and regardless of the various measures applied by the Church, marriage counselors, and other concerned individuals or groups to minimize its recurrence. Therefore, based on this section’s findings, different theoretical and analytical methods should be applied in determining the precise variables and measures that would foster answering the project questions.

Bibliography Divorce among Christians

Ademiluka, Solomon O. “For I Hate Divorce,” says the Lord: Interpreting Malachi 2:16 in relation to prohibition of divorce in some churches in Nigeria.” Old Testament Essays 32, no. 3 (2019), 846-868. doi:10.17159/2312-3621/2019/v32n3a5.

Adonu, Joseph K. “Psychosocial Predictors of Marital Satisfaction in British and Ghanaian Cultural Settings.” Thesis Submitted for the Award of Ph.D. Degree in Psychology- School of Social Sciences and Law Brunel University, 2005, 1-305.

Andersson, Gunnar, Ognjen Obucina, and Kirk Scott. “Marriage and divorce of immigrants and descendants of immigrants in Sweden.” Demographic Research 33 (2015), 31-64. doi:10.4054/demres.2015.33.2.

Arugu, Love O. “Social indicators and effects of marriage divorce in African societies.” The Business & Management Review 4, no. 4 (March 2014), 374-383.

Asoodeh, Mohammad H., Shiva Khalili, Manijeh Daneshpour, and Masoud G. Lavasani. “Factors of a successful marriage: Accounts from self-described happy couples.” Procedia – Social and Behavioral Sciences 5 (2010), 2042-2046. doi: 10.1016/j.sbspro.2010.07.410.

Bijwaard, Govert E., and Stijn Van Doeselaar. “The impact of changes in the marital status on return migration of family migrants.” Journal of Population Economics, 2013. doi:10.1007/s00148-013-0495-3.

Brako, Fred. “Examining gender role beliefs and marital satisfaction of Ghanaian immigrant couples in the U.S.A.” Drexel University- Ph.D., Couple and Family Therapy, November 2012.

Caarls, Kim, and Valentina Mazzucato. “Does International Migration Lead to Divorce? Ghanaian Couples in Ghana and Abroad.” Population 70, no. 1 (2015), 127-151. doi:10.3917/popu.1501.0135.

Clark, Shelley, and Sarah Brauner-Otto. “Divorce in sub-Saharan Africa: Are Unions Becoming Less Stable?” Population and Development Review 41, no. 4 (2015), 583-605. doi:10.1111/j.1728-4457.2015.00086. x.

Coe, Cati. “What is Love? The Materiality of Care in Ghanaian Transnational Families.” International Migration 49, no. 6 (2011), 7-24. doi:10.1111/j.1468-2435.2011.00704. x.

Cooke, Thomas J., Clara Mulder, and Michael Thomas. “Union Dissolution and Migration.” Demographic Research 34, no. 26 (2016), 741-760. doi:10.4054/demres.2016.34.26.

Counted, Victor. “African Christian diaspora religion and/or spirituality: A concept analysis and reinterpretation.” Critical Research on Religion 7, no. 1 (2019), 58-79. doi:10.1177/2050303218823258.

Familusi, Olumuyiwa O. “Till Circumstances do us Part: A Socio-Ethical Analysis of Divorce among Christians in Nigeria.” Global Journal of Human-Social Science: An Arts & Humanities – Psychology 19, no. 5 (2019).

Ferrante, Lorenzo. “Religion and Culture of Origin. Re-Shaping Identity in the Integration Process: A Case Study in Sicily.” Qualitative Sociology Review 15, no. 3 (2019), 126-147. doi:10.18778/1733-8077.15.3.07.

Furtado, Delia, Miriam Marcén, and Almudena Sevilla. “Does Culture Affect Divorce? Evidence from European Immigrants in the United States.” Demography 50, no. 3 (2013), 1013-1038. doi:10.1007/s13524-012-0180-2.

Goodman, Michael A., David C. Dollahite, Loren D. Marks, and Emily Layton. “Religious Faith and Transformational Processes in Marriage.” Family Relations 62, no. 5 (2013), 808-823. doi:10.1111/fare.12038.

Gravningen, Kirsten, Kirstin R. Mitchell, Kaye Wellings, Anne M. Johnson, Rebecca Geary, Kyle G. Jones, Soazig Clifton, et al. “Reported reasons for breakdown of marriage and cohabitation in Britain: Findings from the third National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (Natsal-3).” PLOS ONE 12, no. 3 (2017), e0174129. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0174129.

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Orr, William F., and James A. Walther. “I Corinthians: A New Translation: Introduction with a Study of the Life and Paul, Notes, and Commentary.” Journal of Biblical Literature 96, no. 4 (1976), 608. doi:10.2307/3266017.

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Divorce among Christians

Effect of Migration on Marital Quality and Stability of Ghanaian Christian Couples in America 2021

Effect of Migration on Marital Quality
Effect of Migration on Marital Quality

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Effect of Migration on Marital Quality and Stability of Ghanaian Christian Couples in America

The Biblical Rationale :

Marriage has been given profound importance in all religions specifically in Christianity. There is substantial articulation in both Hebrew and Bible about the importance, benefits both in eternal and worldly life, and the impacts of undermining marriage. The basis of marriage is possessed by the Biblical Eden in which it is considered as a holy institution.

The religious importance of marriage can be evaluated and gauged by the fact that God presided over the first-ever marriage by offering Eve to Adam. We all are a generation of Adam and Eve and God itself has given substantial importance to marriage as can be seen in the scripture of the Bible and God adores the marriage in the Church. Therefore, there is no denying the fact that marriage has an inevitable role in strengthening Christian communities and societies.

In addition to the manifestation of the Bible about marriage, many researchers and scholars conceded the fact that marriage is the bedrock of any stable or mainstream community. “And the two will become one flesh’. This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5.31–32). Marriage is the gift of God and God considered marriage crucial not only for the individuals who are marrying but also for the evolving human societies.

The Church, therefore, rejects as false all efforts to understand marriage (and all other human relationships) independently of the call to discipleship. In Christianity, discipleship is the true following of the way of Jesus Christ

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Dynamic patterns concerning Christian Marital issues require ordinary, refreshed investigations, trying to dispose of ‘deadly’ obliviousness. Peter Brierley, cited Tidball’s perception; “…something is truly amiss with the congregation” and Riddell’s congregation is in a difficult situation and doesn’t know it”. Among these inconveniences are the expanding circumstances of Marital trouble that bargain certain Christian practices when all is said in done and the Ghanaian Adventist Christian transient couples specifically.

Even though instances of factual records abound and by and large vouch for passionate scars endured by numerous individuals with their comparing consequences for society, the pattern proceeds with unabated. It is accepted inside the Christian people group that scriptural Christianity proposes a potential enduring glad Marital relationship, where magnanimous love may connote Christian development.

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However, the truth of existing relationships including that of GACMs comes up short. While it very well might be viewed as ordinary somewhere else, with resolute non-debatable customs of exacting hierarchical (SDA) translation of Scripture in certain circles, combined with comparing African social impacts, GACMs find nearly everything amiss with troublesome relationships particularly when they end in separate.

In pretty much every culture, separate from influences more than the couples in question. While a few casualties suffer hopelessness peacefully being shy of different choices ladies, experience some friendly demonization for being separated. Thusly a few couples shroud troubles even from companions and the congregation. As such, whole networks generally have a stake and may languish some detachment over family members’ Marital pressures. Such Marital issues whether they end in partition or separation convey with them numerous casualties.

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In actuality, such a choice may affect the actual endurance of the tranquil conjunction of included networks. As a matter of first importance, this examination researches potential purposes for Marital troubles noted among Ghanaian transients explicitly GACMs in Britain which regularly make fears and doubt among couples and local area pioneers. Stories of genuine circumstances proliferate (among GACMs) of how couples’ conduct and mentalities out of nowhere change following settlement in Europe.

Subsequently, some Ghanaians lean toward a drawn-out partition and decide to leave companions in Ghana for genuine feelings of serenity. Ghanaian relationships will undoubtedly get troublesome with a high likelihood of finishing off separate. The gathering’s administration faces the real factors of assimilation and lawful limitations, combined with a misconstrued social view of their issues inside a 21st century’s non-absolute climate.

Other extra issues for the administration include: Dealing with expanding divorce rates, indefinite partition of couples while in Britain with accompanying doubts, Non-responsibility issues, for example, co-habiting believers.

Church Discipline:
For instance, some administrations face allegations of cumbersomeness with anomalies of progressively moral and opinionated contentions against their treatment of marital concerns. Argumentative and frequently begging to be proven wrong church disciplinary inconsistencies, follow co-residence, partition, separation, and remarriages consequently influencing resulting church cooperation trying to keep up chapel discipline.

Existing measurable documents imply that likely the pace of expansion in the overall Christian separation issue is in proportion to the Christian churches needed to address and contextualize the commonsense real factors of contemporary scenes in holy places today. Also, almost certainly, there are a few casualties of these Marital quandaries inside the Ghanaian social direction while kids and different casualties get cleared along by the breakdown of Ghanaian relationships.

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Implications regarding Immigrants:
The concept of marriage may vary from societies to societies but nearly all societies see marriage favorably. In the American context too, marriage is also considered as the firm bonding for societal stability but certain causes are undermining this aspect of marriage like migration. The African migrations and the immigrants coming to America are dissolving their marriage substantially which is prompting feelings of distress, depression, and anxieties in the communities.

The interaction of these migrants with natives, clash of cultural norms, and inappropriate guidance from the church leaders further intensify these types of issues. To offer a piece of good advice, Bible also articulates the examples of those immigrants who faced countless challenges at their time. For example, in Genesis 12:1, Bible manifests how God gave instructions to Abraham to leave the house of his father for that new land, which God would show to him. The other examples include Moses and Joseph, who left their native land and became migrants.

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These people were the influencers of that time and due to only one reason, they conceded the order of migration from God and that reason was the inherent trust in God.
Adoption of Culture:

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As the study aims to unveil the inherent prospects of the Ghanaian culture about the impact of migration of marriage, it is crucial to deliberate the cultural impact on the interpretation of the Bible. According to various scholars, it is crucial to consider the cultural framework while interpreting the verses of the Bible and also noted that many different cultures have different world views which have been shaped by their distinct cultures.
For the people who are migrating from their native land to another land, it is formidable for them to adopt the culture of the migrated area.

The evaluation of culture is also important to perceive the message of the Bible accurately. There is no denying the fact that God has created Bible for diverse cultures and these cultures cannot be ignored. Western culture is without a doubt among the powers that have formed the encounters and relationships of transients from sub-Saharan Africa.

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Leaving the outsiders feeling secluded and estranged is among the impacts of Western culture. For instance, Massey and Higgins discovered that unfamiliar societies affected foreigners’ confidence. They saw that devotees who were beforehand resolute in their Christian confidence practice were probably going to turn out to be less strict when they moved toward the West. They infer that “detailed church participation at spots of source and in the United States recommend that migration is a problematic occasion that estranges migrants from strict practice instead of “theologizing” them.”

Effect of Migration on Marital Quality and Stability of Ghanaian Christian Couples in America

Clifford MeesuaSibani offers a charming conversation on the progressions that travelers experience when presented to Western impacts. Travelers who move to Western nations receive Western qualities, and subsequently, they can’t assemble relationships that last. For instance, Sibani noticed that in African societies, relationships are a mutual undertaking where families and the local area become engaged with cooperating and issue harsh alerts against such indecencies as infidelity.

Effect of Migration on Marital Quality and Stability of Ghanaian Christian Couples in America

Then again, in the West, relationships are an individual matter, and the local area assumes a restricted part. At the point when they leave Africa, hitched adherents lose the advantage of connection and local areas that are profoundly instilled in African culture. It is little marvel that as Amato and James set up, the U.S. furthermore; Europe leads the world concerning divorce rates. At the point when they get comfortable in these districts, African Christian migrants are presented to a raised danger of separation.

The laws in objective nations fundamentally sway the relationships of African transients. Across numerous African countries, polygamous relationships are perceived and cherished in the law. Then again, in the West, polygamy is unlawful, with those discovered taking part in this work on confronting weighty authorizations. The distinction in the ways to deal with polygamy among Africa and the West somewhat clarifies the ascent in separate from cases among African migrants.

For instance, as indicated by Baloyi, the breakdown in African relationships and families is the conflict between the African partiality for polygamous relationships and the Western demand that a man must be hitched to one lady at a given time. The laws overseeing divorce are likewise forming the relationships of African settlers. Tallied accused the higher commonness of separation among these foreigners in light of the fact that, in the Western nations where they settle, the laws on separate are generally careless.

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Effect of Migration on Marital Quality and Stability of Ghanaian Christian Couples in America

Financial Reliance: Effect of Migration on Marital Quality and Stability of Ghanaian Christian Couples in America

Financial reliance is another factor that seems to impact marriage and separation among African foreigners in the West. For some settlers from Africa, the quest for better financial possibilities is among the fundamental drivers of movement. Basically, the outsiders look for a getaway from the destitution and monetary difficulties that are endemic across the African landmass. Examination by researchers like Hogendoorn et al. has affirmed a relationship between monetary weakness and separation.

Basically, moderately helpless people are more defenseless and bound to encounter issues that set up for separate. A few different analysts have likewise settled that neediness is a critical danger factor for separate and Marital issues. Since they are destitute and monetarily reliant on the West, African foreigners are almost powerless as their relationships lay on the nations’ monetary strength and liberality that have them.

Another way that African migrants’ financial reliance on the West has on marriage is that the dependence forces strains and weights on settlers’ families. For instance, each year, African workers dispatch tremendous entireties back to their nations of origin. While these settlements help to construct African economies, it is sensible to assume that they leave the workers monetarily depleted.

It is for sure conceivable that as they send cash home, the settlers are left with scarcely enough for their food. The monetary troubles that they face could trigger marital issues that finish in separate. Research demonstrates that monetary difficulties are among the indicators of separation. Accordingly, their families and networks’ financial reliance on African settlers causes pressure and can contribute to divorce cases.

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However, different analysts have inspected marriage and separation rates among African workers living in the West, some evident holes underscore the significance of the task. For instance, while some research has investigated outsiders’ encounters from Africa, Ghanaians have not gotten a lot of consideration. Existing research is fairly broad and doesn’t offer explicit bits of knowledge into the encounters of Ghanaian foreigners. Auxiliary, scientists will in general zero in on effect of movement on separate without the fundamental treatment of components of conjugal quality or avoidance of separation.

Consequently, zeroing in on marriage quality this research fits a hole on avoidance. Thirdly, there isn’t surviving writing or research that arranges the issue inside Christian experience. Generally, the current writing examines the causes and effects of migration status on African foreigners’ relationships. By creating explicit mediations that the settlers can embrace, the current undertaking will expand the research scope.

Effect of Migration on Marital Quality and Stability of Ghanaian Christian Couples in America

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Effect of Migration on Marital Quality and Stability of Ghanaian Christian Couples in America

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Effect of Migration on Marital Quality